Interestingly, this randomly selected image sourced from TopNews.in (???) was from an article stating that liberals prefer thin crust. I will be having socialist pizza in the future.

Something you should know about me: I spend so much time at the Henry Hotel that I have an uncomfortably close relationship with their staff. Some recent incidents have forced me to venture elsewhere:

• The dining room manager (who is a lovely human being) is also a mouth-kisser. I’m barely even a hugger so… that’s not going to work
• They’ve been promising a new menu for 6 months and it was supposed to arrive two weeks ago… still not here and I can’t have another lamb taco
• They “changed the prices on select wines” forcing my favorite $35 pinot noir to now be $80

Anyway, no biggie, it’s fun to venture out of a hotel. Especially when your hotel is located in a mall parking lot. J and I decided to hit up PizzaPapalis on Michigan Avenue and it was such a letdown. No roaches or inedible food but just a terrible disappointment.

My Yelp review is below. I gave it two stars.

I remember a time when sticky floors, bad pizza, and cheap wine were available in abundance: it was called college and even then I didn’t pay $66 for a meal this mediocre.

We were greeted at the door and seated… Oh no, wait, we weren’t. But after a few minutes of waiting, a sad teenager walked us and another guest back, threw 2 menus on a table, and walked off without saying a word.

The menu is simple enough that we planned our meal quickly: a small VIP deep dish, Greek salad, and garlic bread (based on the yelp reviews). When our waitress arrived to take our drink order, we informed her we didn’t have drink menus, and she then told us we were wrong and searched both our menus before concluding we, in fact, hadn’t received any. Some might have been turned off by her attitude but I found it comforting: her warmth was reminiscent of that of my middle school bus driver.

One mediocre $24 bottle of Pinot Grigio later, the garlic bread and salad arrived. The garlic bread was fine but didn’t merit raves and was served with jarred grocery store marinara on the side — a sign of what was to come. Both the sauce and salad dressings were served with lids in to go cups, which sugests that perhaps PizzaPapalis is a better choice for takeout in general.

Short description of our pizza: meh. It was a little overcooked (so the crust wasn’t as flaky or buttery as it could have been) and the sauce was just poor quality (I imagined a vat of Ragu simmering in the back that someone sprinkled extra oregano into to “kick it up a notch”). Basically, we wandered into a take out joint with mediocre food and from start to check (which took an hour and 45 min) were treated like an afterthought. Not the worst experience, but you deserve better, Dearborn.