Please add tonight’s experience to the list of things that only happen to me.

Tonight, when I went to move my laundry from washer to dryer, I received the following note left in my washing machine from a man I ran into twice in the elevators of my building:

While it would be very easy for me to ridicule this based purely on the fact that his email address is orbitingmars@hotmail.com or mentioning that he was wearing  a white turtleneck and brown fleece vest or by pointing out that it’s impossible that I looked nice and friendly because I a) didn’t speak to you and b) pretty much default to Ice Princess, I have to say that I found this extremely creepy.

It’s 11 at night and I’m a single woman who lives alone who needs to go back and forth to the basement by herself three times. How do you think this note made me feel, Elevator Man? Assuming the absolute best, that you found me nice and friendly (unlikely for the reasons listed above), why would you think that leaving a note on top of my machine (that required you to lift everyone else’s, examine the contents, and determine what was mine based on the laundry bag you saw I had in the elevator), would make me want to contact you? My space is private and at 11 on a Thursday night, I’d like to be able to sleep soundly without thinking about stalkers who had private access to my laundry and know where I live.

Now, I’m sitting in my apartment dreading having to go pick up my laundry because you could be hiding around any corner. So let it be known to future men in elevators who think that leaving women notes on top of their clothing is charming or romantic: you need to be Ryan Gosling hot to pull this move off.